Lounge Lizard

After the frantic days of moving and getting ready to leave Seattle indefinitely I have spent the last few days in recovery. Today I am lying by Mom’s pool, in a repose that my father used to dub “Lounge Lizard.” The weather is warm and sunny in Napa, and I’ve been visiting with family and friends, eating amazing food and evaluating where one gets self image. Being out of my normal element, without work, and without a solid plan for the future makes me realize that I must be content with who I am right now, today, without the trappings of skill, talent or things. Where does this Lounge Lizard find the movtivation for self-knowing and exploration? It is in the bones, the courage of launching out and finding the wings ready to unfurl, in trusting that I am enough. I have heard this so many times in my acting training, “I am enough” and it is essential to my life off stage as well. I really am enough, even if I never get another acting gig, or write a blog or…but wait am I really content with this? Where is the balance of making things happen and RESTing on the rising thermal of air? I’ve been frantically flapping my wings trying to find the next air current. Now it’s time to lay back and let the air take over for awhile, still keeping my wings stretched out while enjoying the ride. This lounge lizard is becoming an eagle.

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