I love finding a new spot to write, to read, noticing the way light reflects off the walls from a new perspective, even if it’s just sitting on a different end of the couch, or in a new corner, a different chair, a spare bed, a pile of pillows. It helps me to create an open heart, discovering the way candle flicker affects certain rooms, the walls, my eyes, my psyche. It’s important, this change, this seeking for new inspiration, this finding when something works, when it doesn’t, this listening and really hearing, when music touches and lyrics sink into the heart. I melted into a pile of sentiment this morning when hearing a random song, How Can I Win? on my iPod shuffle from the old musical The Good bye Girl. I heard the lyrics like I had never heard them before.They were for me, today, for now, for my truth.
How can I learn to trust enough
And to stop believing all I hear are lies?
Open my heart but just enough
To keep an open mind but never close my eyes Continue reading
Ms. Sparkle is back. The moon has changed or something because I’m back on track, feeling positive, happy and being productive. As I was coming out of the Shakespeare & Company office I saw three people in the lobby looking lost and curious and I asked if they needed any help. We chatted for a while, they were tourists and had been to Lenox years ago and saw the company perform when they resided at the Mount. I told them about the shows in performance now, waved my arms in direction of the theaters, mentioned that I was on my way for a walk to the Mount and fluttered a cheery good-bye.
Is there a difference between meandering and wandering? Without looking it up in a dictionary I am finding myself defining them in my own terms. Wandering seems to be stumbling about without purpose, seeking and lost. Meandering, as I have been experiencing it since last April, has become an exploration of sorts, not from a place of being lost, but from a place of new adventure. Those are my definitions anyway as I am struggling this week to not feel lost. Some change has come over my days in that I am no longer feeling “meaderest” but astray and wandering about blindly. I am hoping this is a temporary condition and am combatting the aura with writing, reading, walking and mundane tasks that need to get accomplished like taxes and bills. There is an unsettled rest about my week, as I am recovering from an intense two weeks of teacher training in the Shakespeare & Company Month-Long Intensive here is Massachusetts.