It’s still feeling like winter here in the Berkshires. Not enough green, or warmth, or flowers. But I keep writing and sending thoughts for the reasons I wait and anticipate the coming of color from under a buff beige blanket. Why do you stay? 

Why I Stay- (based on a line from Morgan Farley’s poem of the same name) by Lori Evans

Why I stay, because spring is coming and sunshine and flowers,
Because it’s not really a choice, I am here with nowhere else to go.
I stay for horses, for romance, for beauty and beavers,
For cowboys and evergreens and mountain streams.
I stay for stars in a lightless sky and the hope of seeing the northern lights.

I stay for love, for daughters and adopted sons and sisters and ukuleles,
Because the hope of more adventure is within my soul always beating.
Why I stay has nothing to do with deeds and everything to do with possibility,
The anguish and joy equal in their coming and going.

I stay for the pizza and Netflix and the walk to the bookstore,
For the smile in a puppy’s tail wiggle that makes mine join in.
Puppies! I stay for puppies and kittens and pumpkins carved by kids, 
And painting, and color. 

I stay for color! For washing everything
In color, in rainbow butterflies of fabric and clothing,
That makes me feel gorgeous and sassy and bold.

I stay to be bold, to find firmness in my mind and my flabby body, for breath,
And aspiration and a person I might help and brighten.
I stay for words that can lighten a load and frighten the gloom from the door
That’s shut.

Why I stay, to say, “HEY! You know me—we met ten years ago and look
At us now!” I stay for surprises like inside a Kinder egg, little bright toys
Of delight from unexpected corners. A note from a student,
A gift from the wind, a tail slap from a beaver saying,
“Here I am, wait for me, don’t go yet, I want to see you.”

I stay to be seen.