Cinderella’s beauty passed through the alembic of Emerson

I feel beautiful. I know from my acting training that “beautiful” is not a feeling, so I guess I should say that I imagine myself to be beautiful. This comes upon me when I spend time being out in nature. There are days I feel stared at everywhere I go. This sounds vain, but stay with me a minute and I will explain. Usually I feel this sensation when I am full of exhilaration from being outdoors, and I wonder does nature feed my beauty and is it like that Cinderella song “Do I love you because you’re beautiful or are you beautiful because I love you?” Do I think I’m beautiful because people notice me, or do people notice me because I think I’m beautiful. What comes first the chicken or the egg? Continue reading

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Out of the dark into the fall….

Right after I wrote my last blog post I was inundated with negative events. This was just after I received the go ahead to be a teacher trainee here at Shakespeare and Company and do what I could to get a festival going for taking Shakespeare into high schools in the Lenox area next spring. I met with people who didn’t want to have anything to do with helping me get the information I needed, people resentful of the idea of having more work to do, I upset the apple cart and unknowingly offended people, hurt people’s feelings and ended up in tears thinking I had made a HUGE mistake in taking all of this on. My identity that I joyously found in my travels across the United States was all of a sudden bombarded, and tested, with large personalities taking up my space, sharing my bathroom, and helping me to feel insignificant. Continue reading

Berkshire frosting on my life’s cake…

I’m hanging out in Lenox, MA waiting for an answer to a proposal I made yesterday to Shakespeare and Company’s Director of Education and Director of Training. They both said yes, but as is common they have people to answer to as well. The General Manager is where the buck stops and we will see if my offer is met with an eye roll. Continue reading

Wonders and woes of Woburn…

The Fells, near Woburn MA

I’ve been dreaming vividly, from waking up with an imagined black cat snuggling on my chest, to being 8 weeks pregnant. I looked up what these things mean on dreammoods.com and found…“To see a cat in your dream symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. To dream that you are pregnant symbolizes some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal” Continue reading

Pouting…

I sit here pouting. I sprained my ankle 7 weeks ago dancing a jig (“…an offshoot to Nathan”). I have since been hiking and walking and it has felt fully recovered so that I haven’t given it a second thought. I talked to my friend Willie last night (“Meet Willie”) about wanting to concentrate on losing some weight and he said to get up early and first thing go out and exercise. So I woke up this morning excited to see some sunshine and got up and out the door with my iPod to do a combo walk 2 minutes and then run 90 seconds routine. I was entranced by the colorful changing leaves, the fresh air, the New England architecture and I waved at the policeman directing traffic. I was invigorated by my first run and turned down a side path and wham bam, my ankle twisted and down I went in a glorious wipe-out on the pavement. Continue reading