Me and my many worlds…

 IMG_7040I went back to Benedict Pond this weekend and it was like visiting an old friend. IMG_7050

I discovered all of the new delights that have happened since my absence, the ice being completely melted, the lake as high as I’ve ever seen her, new shoots popping up along the creeks. IMG_7048

There was bad news as well as good as I explored a new area and saw the devastation from the beaver population. IMG_7058

I walked from a lush, spring planet of rebirth to darkness and death. A contrast, but still beautiful. IMG_7067

I have yet to come upon the perpetrators of this destruction, imagining them in their goggles and protective jumpsuits, their wide tails leaving a trail in the mud as they chew down forests in the blink of an eye. How they can do so much damage and not get caught baffles me. I am dying to see one. I sat for awhile in hopes of capturing them unaware, but my patience was not up to the challenge. IMG_7060

Walking back along the lake I saw this cool, leaf-shaped hole in a tree trunk and gazed through it looking out upon another new world. Catching this perspective made me blurt out the beginning of the familiar William Blake poem…

“To see the world in a grain of sand,

And heaven in a wildflower, 

To hold infinity in the palm of your hand, 

And eternity in an hour.”IMG_7084

There were frogs croaking in the distance, as I came upon an underwater forest of eggs in a side pond. I assume they were frog eggs, clear goo surrounding little black specs. As I was studying them a newt sashayed by pushing himself forward with the wiggle of his backside. He reminded me of Gussie Fink-Nottle, the celebrated “newt fancier” with horn-rimmed glasses and a face like a fish in the Jeeves and Wooster books. I had never seen a newt in the wild, so even though the beavers eluded me, I am up one newt!IMG_7090

His wiggle also reminded me of a rehearsal with my 6th grade Midsummer Night’s Dream kids. I was working with the Mechanicals, the clowning group of players that rehearse a play in the forest, when one of my 6th grade boys put on some music and started dancing and wagging his butt, much like this newt, to the lyrics “I like big butts and I cannot lie.” I immediately thought this would be ideal for the Bergomask dance that they will do at the end of the play. They got so excited about creating a dance, and even though the lyrics are not parent appropriate, I am thrilled that the kids are creating their own show. Nature imitating art, or art imitating nature?IMG_7075

Further along the path I came to the now familiar pond journal (see On Benedict Pond) and was mesmerized by a poem someone had written inside.

The Quiet World

In an effort to get people to look

into each other’s eyes more,

and also to appease the mutes,

the government has decided

to allot each person exactly one hundred   

and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear   

without saying hello. In the restaurant   

I point at chicken noodle soup.

I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,   

proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.   

I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,

I know she’s used up all her words,   

so I slowly whisper I love you

thirty-two and a third times.

After that, we just sit on the line   

and listen to each other breathe.

-Jeffrey McDaniel

What a beautiful love poem. I relish the idea of the government wanting us to look into each other’s eyes more. I’d like to live in that world. A world that encourages human contact with and without words. I would cherish a lover that would ration his words all day to lavish them on me at evenings end. IMG_7092

So I guess it was a day of worlds…a new-growth world, a dying world, an infinite world, an amphibian world with clowns, and a world of love. And I walk in and out of them in an instant creating a beautiful world of my own.

My kind of crazy

Ridin’ with her hair in the wind 

And her hands in the sky

Like she’s flyin’

Spring has finally arrived in the Berkshires. The snow is gone, my teaching residency has started, this is my 100th post, and I have moved to a new house share. A lot of changes in the last few weeks, so where do I start?IMG_7003

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The Travels of Bob: An Easter Story

There’s this bug, and I swear it’s been following me. It is rather big, next time I see him I will take a picture because I have no idea what he is, about three-quarters of an inch in length and maybe of the cockroach family. He seems harmless, he just scares me turning up in unexpected places. For instance…my picnic bag. I received this nifty bag from my mother for my birthday that opens up and has a cutting board, plastic wine glasses, flatware, cloth napkins, the works, perfect for taking on a romantic date with a bottle of wine and cheese. Well, it has thus far gone unused, which is a sad comment on the state of my dating life, but when I moved out of company housing at Shakespeare & Company last December, I packed some things inside the bag to keep safe in the car trunk as I flew off to Seattle for three weeks.

The infamous picnic bag...

The infamous picnic bag…

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Sunset Mass in Blue Minor

“A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words.” -Ansel AdamsIMG_6729

I wrote a report in high school on the naturalist photographer Ansel Adams. He was a fanatic about light and how it affects the world through the camera lens, and since then I have been enamored of watching the changes light creates on landscapes. Continue reading

Strutting like a model through the snow covered woods…

IMG_6706Even though February was a dreary month, I did get out for some spectacular hikes. If I am here another winter I definitely need to figure out better footwear for the snow and ice hikes. I have loved the Brooks Cascadia trail runners that have climbed mountains and descended canyons with me, but they just don’t quite cut it in the wet snow. Things are starting to thaw here and mud season is coming. I have been forewarned that it will not be a pretty sight. Just the name “mud season” sounds bad.  Continue reading

Happy and miserable at the same time…

“The truth is, I am free, I am happy, I am healthy and I am utterly miserable.”

George Bernard Shaw wrote this in a little play called Too True to be Good, and I have no trouble at all relating to it. The statement seems like a conundrum, two opposites of reality. How can I be all that great stuff and miserable at the same time? But it has been my emotional state for the last  month.

Darling Lenox on a snowy night

Darling Lenox on a snowy night

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Road trip in miniature (Part Two)

Rockport, MA

Rockport, MA

After a hearty breakfast and playing with the resident B&B dogs we walked into town and browsed in the seaside shops and contemplated the views and philosophized with an artist that thought my divine feminine girls were as “beautiful as the pom poms on my hat were happy.” It was so very quaint, quiet and cold, though the sun was shining with welcome. Continue reading

Road trip in miniature (Part One)…

Susanna, Audrey, Alicia and me

Susanna, Audrey, Alicia and me

My daughters arrived by plane and the laughter, stories, and excitement have been palpable to all around. The dynamic of being with three lovely young women is so enlivening. I don’t want to go to bed, I am so awake, who wants to sleep? I don’t want to miss a moment. So I sit up and write while they sleep. Continue reading

Room-tripping

I love finding a new spot to write, to read, noticing the way light reflects off the walls from a new perspective, even if it’s just sitting on a different end of the couch, or in a new corner, a different chair, a spare bed, a pile of pillows. It helps me to create an open heart, discovering the way candle flicker affects certain rooms, the walls, my eyes, my psyche. It’s important, this change, this seeking for new inspiration, this finding when something works, when it doesn’t, this listening and really hearing, when music touches and lyrics sink into the heart. I melted into a pile of sentiment this morning when hearing a random song, How  Can I Win? on my iPod shuffle from the old musical The Good bye Girl. I heard the lyrics like I had never heard them before.They were for me, today, for now, for my truth. IMG_6361

How can I learn to trust enough

And to stop believing all I hear are lies?

Open my heart but just enough

To keep an open mind but never close my eyes Continue reading

Make-believe meandering at the Mount

Ms. Sparkle is back. The moon has changed or something because I’m back on track, feeling positive, happy and being productive. As I was coming out of the Shakespeare & Company office I saw three people in the lobby looking lost and curious and I asked if they needed any help. We chatted for a while, they were tourists and had been to Lenox years ago and saw the company perform when they resided at the Mount. I told them about the shows in performance now, waved my arms in direction of the theaters, mentioned that I was on my way for a walk to the Mount and fluttered a cheery good-bye. IMG_6284

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